Have you ever felt invisible? Taken advantage of? Reluctant (or unable) to articulate what you really want? If so, join the club. The nice girls club. Nice girls – that’s right, girls – are those more concerned with pleasing others than with addressing their own needs and haven’t yet learned how to overcome the childhood messages cultural stereotypes keeping them from getting their voices heard, their needs met, and the lives they want.
OMG! I immediately think," could they really be talking about me?" I mean they’ve never even met me? Ahhhh. But they so have. And millions more like me and yup, probably many of you.
Who are they? Lois Frankel and Carol Frolinger, authors of the new book “Nice Girls just don’t get it” - which by my standards is a must-read for anyone who's ever felt taken advantage of by a friend, family member, spouse or co-worker. It is filled with smart, practical and humorous (in my book a winning combination) ways to use your strengths and be your own best advocate without being a, can I say it? Yes, my column, my rules, BITCH.
What I think is great about this book is that it’s not just for high powered corporate women in power suits, but all women, those in big business, small business, and no “business” but the business of managing busy lives, managing a household and trying to in the words of Oprah, “live your best life”. It also doesn’t try and turn you into the ultimate “power-woman” with skin so thick it is unattainable for most of us; it recognizes that our desire to please and be kind women is truly an asset and should always be there. It just needs limits and shouldn’t overshadow our own needs and achievement.
Dr. Frankel, President of Corporate Coaching International, a Pasadena, California consulting firm, literally wrote the book on coaching people to succeed in businesses large and small around the globe. Her other books Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office and Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich are international bestsellers. Stop Sabotaging Your Career, a book based on her experiences as a pioneer in the field of business coaching working with everyone from CEOs to entry-level professionals, is a must-read for both men and women. And See Jane Lead is a virtual road map for any woman who wants to take charge at work.
Blooming Betty, as we always say, is all about knowing your worth, building your confidence, and shaping your vision of success, this book is the perfect companion in that journey. If you even have an inkling of a thought that you might not be your best advocate (in any situation) or maybe sideling some of your own choices for others … take the first step to doing something about it and read this book!
We all advocate for our children, our parters, our "causes" without even thinking, now, do it for yourself. I think you're worth it, you should too.