This week Canada is mourning the loss of a beloved politician, Jack Layton. He died of cancer at age 61 after three decades in public service. Heroically, during his final hours he wrote details of his funeral (he wanted a public funeral and a “celebration of life.”) and a letter to Canadians about their future. His words, so poignant, so inspiring and so beautiful, have been posted everywhere; from Facebook to Twitter, newspaper headlines, walls and recited on the news channels throughout Canada. For both my readers in Canada and everywhere else, I am re-posting my favorite here too.
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.
I post not just because I believe that these words apply on a global level but because I think we should think about them on the individual too. Why not believe great things can happen? That your life can be as wonderful as you want it to be and that there is always the possibility of good? Even when not so good comes along you believ it will get better.
The problem though is that in the aggregate, the number of optimists will hopefully outweigh the pessimists and promote change in the world but on the individual level, without some optimism, your success might just be a little more at risk.
Lets delve further. When it comes to your individual success, it’s obvious why the Optimist gets to the "finish line first" (simply; they believe they will) but what about the Pessimist? What should they do? Keep plugging along? Or throw in the towel, thereby furthering their pessimist perception? That doesn’t seem right. But really how much control do we have over how we think anyway? Do we choose to be an Optimist or a Pessimist? If so, can you change teams along the way? Could you be an optimist trapped in the body of a pessimist just waiting to be freed? To be honest, I really wasn’t sure. I have so many friends and families member that fall into both categories. So I deciede to do some research to shed some light on the topic.
First, the basic definitions to set the record straight. Perhaps you don't actually know which you are? You could probably ask your friends and family or just read on. The Oxford Dictionary defines an Optimist as “ One who has hopefulness and confidence about the future or the success of something. He/She holds the belief that good must ultimately prevail over evil in the universe”. Even when bad things do happen, they are able to get through them and see them as isolated incidences. Glass is still half full and life is still pretty. Note: I am not talking about the overly optimistic who border on delusional. Only run of the mill optimists. Those people are just scary.
Conversely, it defines a Pessimist as “One who has tendency to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen. He/She believes that the world is as bad as it could be or that evil will ultimately prevail over good.” Bad things happen, and they see them as no surprise and will probably keep on coming. Many are so negative that the glass is not just half empty but dirty, chipped and probably on the brink of shattering. Again, I am sticking to the run of the mill.
The two paths meet in what many term, a “Realist”, a person who accepts the world as it literally is and deals with it accordingly. Pragmatic. On a personal note, I always seems to ride the middle, and probably fall into this group now (was a pessimist at more than a few points in my life). I am told for the most part I am pretty cheery now so lets say “ a realist with a smile”. Going to leave this group people out, at least for now.
The good news is that according to research from several psychologists, the general consensus is that people are not born an Optimistic or Pessimist. It is learned behavior (which means you can blame your parents 
- learned either through experience (because bad things do happen and unfortunately shape our belief system) or through other people telling us who we are: "You are a great runner, you are a winner, you are a loser, bad things happen when… “
Dr. Martin Seligman who wrote Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life uses the terms “Learned Helplessness” and “Learned Optimism”. So the good news, because this behavior is learned it can be UNlearned. With some work of course (think quitting smoking or loosing weight). Seligman has shown that people can dramatically impact their sense of well-being and optimism, career options and confidence levels, by changing the way they think. You can train yourself to develop a more optimistic outlook. Just like any other habit.
Seligman believes that there are three crucial elements in the thinking styles that differentiate pessimists from optimists. When something bad happens pessimists automatically think that the cause is:
Permanent: "It's going to last forever", “This always happens”
Pervasive: "It's going to undermine everything”, “Nothing is good”
Personal: "It's my fault", “This always happens to me”
Whereas Optimists have a strength (think little muscle in their brain) that allows them to interpret their setbacks as surmountable, particular to a specific problem and resulting from temporary circumstances or other people. Not permanent, not pervasive to the rest of their life and not personal.
So, if you think about bad things in terms of 'always' and 'never' and that they’re caused by your poor characteristics and traits which are set in stone then sorry to say, you for sure you have a permanent pessimistic style. If you think in terms of 'sometimes' and 'lately' and blame bad events on temporary causes, good for you, you probably have an optimistic style. Kind of simplistic but makes the point.
Now in terms of success, everything I read talked about how the power and value of optimism can’t possibly be over-rated as a factor in success and personal growth and development. Optimism allows you to see the positive aspects of any situation and enables you to capitalize on each possibility. Some research exists that demonstrates that optimism results in higher achievement.
And if that doesn’t piss off the pessimists, there’s more! Optimists are more successful in all areas of life. Studies show that optimists excel in school, have a better love life, make more money, and have better health as well as living longer! Optimists also do better in the face of stress. They take action sooner; break big problems into smaller, more manageable ones; stick to their goals longer; and believe others can help. Sign me up!
Pessimists have an underlying attitude that their experiences will usually (or always) be negative and they also believe failures are their own fault. Unfortunately, pessimistic thinking is linked to higher levels of stress, chronic pain and in some cases depression. Note that I am fully aware that experience is experience, we don't choose our childhoods or the circumstances we run into along the way … they happen (believe me, I know) but they do. So after they are dealt with properly, we need to make sure that they don't permanently shape our thinking. Or our children's for that matter.
Well, when I researched this the floodgates opened. Everywhere from yoga,daily meditation and affirmations, self-help books and gurus of all types, blech. The “realist in me”, saw a bunch of “bull” … but I persevered and as a realist, put together a list that seemed to sum up most of what I read that was pragmatic and beleivable.
Bottom line: It takes being willing to change and taking a few extra few minutes to examine your thought patterns. The key to optimism is really to maximize your successes and minimize your failures. And like any behavioral change, the more you practice changing your thought patterns and challenging them, the more automatic they become. Keep in mind that you want to eliminate (or at least reduce, again the realist in me) the permanence, pervasiveness and personal aspects of things that happen. It takes time but really, all signs point to how much it is worth it!
- Learn to define positive events as being a) because of something you did, b) a sign of more good things to come and c) evidence that good things will happen in other areas of your life.
- Think of negative events as a) not your fault, and b) isolated occurrences that have no bearing on future events or other areas of your life.
- When something positive happens in your life, stop to analyze your thought process for a moment. Are you giving yourself due credit for making it happen? Think of all the strengths you possess and ways you contributed, both directly and indirectly, to make this event occur.
- Think of other areas of your life that could be affected by this good event. Also, think of how the strengths you possess that caused this good thing to happen can also cause other positive events in your life.
- Imagine what future possibilities could be in store. Because you hold the key to your success, shouldn’t you expect to do well on future tests? Isn’t a successful career a natural result?
- When negative events occur, think of the extenuating circumstances that could have contributed to this happening.
- Also remember that you’ll have endless opportunities to do better in the future. Think of your next potential success, or other areas where you can excel.
Most of all, remember that there is no right way or wrong way of thinking , only that one overwhelmingly seems to be more beneficial and directly linked to great success. And amazingly enough, we get to choose! …. and maybe a Pessimist won’t become an Optimist and make it only to a Realist, so what? The glass can be full sometimes and empty others. Not bad. That is still a change for the better, right? So Thank-You Jack Layton for inspiring us with you eloquent letter to Canadians and pointing out the power of optimism. To change not only the world but also ourselves.
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